


My Soul Is A Chrono (That Leads Straight To You)

by MyJediLife



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, First Time, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Mutual Pining, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Soulmates, SwoloFic, That's Not How The Force Works, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-07-09 18:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19892680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife
Summary: Kylo Ren and Rey both have soul chronos that stopped at the same exact time, though neither of them realize it yet.A canonverse Soulmates AU.





	1. Time (Clock of the Heart)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriarLily/gifts).



> A gift fic based on a prompt from Briar (thewayofthetrashcompactor). I hope I do this prompt justice!

[](https://imgur.com/4Fw1Aqx)

Rey of Jakku was good at waiting. She had been waiting for her family since she was five. And, for as long as she could remember, she had been waiting to find her soul mate. They were coming for her, she was sure of it – just as she was sure her family would return.

She was thirteen, and she had been waiting for eight years now. She could wait a few more. As she closed and secured the door to her AT-AT for the night, Rey could hear the vicious winds of  _ X'us'R'iia  _ approaching, and as she ate her tiny meal of vegmeat and puff bread, she etched another mark into the durasteel wall, hopeful that it might be her last.

She closed her eyes later that night in her hammock, focusing on the heartbeat within her. It wasn’t the beating of her own heart, per se, Rey had always thought of it as the heartbeat of the Galaxy. Within it, she could sense the soul chrono, ticking down the moments until she found her other half.

_ Soon _ , she thought.  _ Soon, I will find you, and then I will have what I have always longed for. Belonging. Companionship. Family. _

….

_ The sky was burning – or so it seemed. Everywhere she looked there were flames, and bodies lay on the ground, their eyes staring lifelessly at the stars. Soot mixed with rain fell on her face, and she stumbled backwards as a man started towards her, his black and silver mask catching a reflection of the flames. He moved purposefully, his right hand holding a weapon that spit red flame. _

_ Rey stumbled over something, falling backwards, and she looked down to see she had stumbled over a body just as the man reached her… _

_ And then she was back in Jakku, watching her family leaving as Unkar Plutt pulled her by the arm to Niima Outpost. _

Rey woke with a start, and a deep sense of loss invaded her senses. That’s when she realized – her soul chrono had stopped. Tears slid down her face as she realized she was once again – truly – alone. She might never know what had happened to her other half, but surely her chrono stopping meant something horrible had happened to them. Paired with the overwhelming loss and sadness she was feeling inside, Rey was certain they were gone forever. Maybe the dream she had was meant to show her just that, and one of those bodies lying lifeless in the rain and flames had been the other half to her soul.

….

Ben Solo had tried not to think about the soul chrono he had taken notice of when he was four and his powers were first showing themselves. He didn’t know if what he felt inside was normal – when he had tried to explain it to his parents, they didn’t understand. Ben was accustomed to them not understanding him, though, and so he had just basked in its warmth every night, letting the rhythmic metronome of it lull him into sleep some nights.

_ I don’t know who you are, but I’ll find you someday. My other half. I know you are out there. _

The Temple was burning, and so was his old life. His old identity – Ben Solo – died today, with every thrust and slice of his lightsaber. His uncle’s old, outdated hubris needed to die, much like the students that refused to see the truth of things.

It was a new Galaxy, and one that didn’t need the ancient teachings of an almost defunct order. The Jedi taught that you must sacrifice for others, not give in to your most primal desires. You must lead by example when called upon.

Ben knew differently, though. He had been abandoned by his parents, shoved away to a jungle planet to be taught the ways of the Jedi – and his Uncle was to be his teacher. His Uncle – the hero of the Rebellion. The Last of the Jedi Knights. General. Hero. Legacy. His mother and father couldn’t handle him, his powers were far above anything they could control.

He was a menace. The throwaway child – neither Senator nor Smuggler, but something in between. Something ugly, something they didn’t want in their lives.

Abandoned. Ugly. Unloved. Menace. Terror. Unwanted.

Trash.

Yavin IV was the compactor meant to crush him into a fine little cube to be molded and reformed into something they could handle – Jedi.

….

Two weeks ago, Ben had watched in silence as the galaxy was told the truth about his family. Darth Vader was his Grandfather, and instead of feeling anger, Ben had only felt resolve. He had a place in the Galaxy now – a purpose.

He would finish what his Grandfather had started.

The voice in his head, which had always been a soft whisper about how he was tossed away, disregarded, unloved, grew louder with the news.

_ You have a destiny, my child. Bring those like minded few and come to me. I will help you fulfill your destiny and finish what your Grandfather started. Your power will grow tremendously under my tutelage. Raze the Temple, burn it to the ground. Eradicate the last remaining vestiges of the Jedi Order, my child. When that is done, come to me and complete your training. _

As Ben ran his lightsaber through the last person still standing – someone he had once called a friend, he sent out a furtive message through the Force, hoping that  _ they _ could hear him, and that  _ they _ would understand.

_ I’m sorry. I’m sorry I failed you. Be happy. Be safe. _

He stood in the rain, waiting with the others who knew the truth of the Galaxy now – and as the command shuttle landed on the battlefield of Yavin IV, Ben gave up the life he had known to become someone totally different.

When his soul chrono stopped a few moments later, he excused himself to the ‘fresher, where he wept for the life he left behind, and for the soulmate he would never know.

….

The bond opened, and Rey could see him, kneeling as though in worship.

_ Ben… _

He looked up, those chocolate pools of emotion that could never hide what he was feeling, meeting hers. His bottom lip quivered, tears brimming in his eyes.

_ Rey… _

How she wished things could be different. How she wished Ben could see his future the way she had. Part of his destiny had been fulfilled – he had killed Snoke in that throne room to protect her. Yet, he still insisted that she be the one to let go – when perhaps it was  _ he _ who should let go.

The First Order would not rule.  _ Tyranny _ would never rule. Not as long as she and her friends had breath left in their bodies.

Rey drew in a breath, resolved in her decision.

_ Goodbye, Ben. _

Rey reached out with one hand, slapping the button to close the door of the Falcon, simultaneously slamming the door on their bond forever.

As the Falcon left the salt planet Crait behind, Rey set to work, building a wall of duracrete around her heart. If her own soulmate was gone forever, and the one person she had let into her heart was gone as well – what was the point of letting her heart be out in the open, where it could be easily broken again?

The words she and Ben had shared that night on Ahch-To rattled through her brain, causing tears to prick behind her eyelids as she forced herself to turn away from the door.

_ You’re not alone. Neither are you. _

Except she was alone again. She had lost her soulmate years ago, and now the one person who she thought understood her loneliness and pain, the one person who understood her more than anyone had, because he’d been inside her mind, the one person she thought she loved – she had just let him go.

She had to, she could never compromise her morals by joining him, and he had made his own choice.

It wasn’t her, because Rey was never anyone’s choice. She was nobody, and she came from nowhere.

But maybe she could find her place in all this, now that she had let him go.

She had to try.

….

_ Rey… _

Ben looked up as the bond flared to life, staring into her hazel eyes. She had always calmed him in some way, always been the light to his internal darkness.

Even now, when she was about to leave him behind forever, he still felt that call to the light. The pull to her, to her brilliant, blinding soul, her kind, sweet heart and her intriguing, cunning mind. She had understood him, had seen through the mask he wore – not just around his face, but his heart, as well. He thought they could have a future, that she could help him rule the Galaxy.

She was his shining star, a supernova in the black hole of his existence.

The bond slammed closed, and plunged him into the darkness once more, the supernova fading into nothingness.

He was truly alone once more, and he found he didn’t like it.

As the dice faded from his gloved hand, Ben couldn’t help feeling that he had lost everything in his life that he had once held dear.

….

**35 ABY Galactic City – Coruscant**

“Supreme Leader?”

Kylo looked up from the datapad he had been staring at, his cold eyes boring into those of Lieutenant Mitaka’s.

“Yes, Lieutenant?” Kylo asked, his voice businesslike. He didn’t like his subordinates thinking that they could be friendly with him. They were below him, and were to follow orders. The order of the Galaxy depended on this.

“Supreme Leader, the delegation from Abenado has arrived,” Mitaka hesitated, waiting to see if Kylo said anything.

“See them into the Hall, feed them, give them drinks and keep them entertained. I’ll be there when I get there.”

“Supreme Leader, sir,” Mitaka said, stopping when Kylo looked up at him, glaring.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. Of course.” Mitaka snapped to attention before turning and leaving the room.

Kylo sighed, running a hand over his eyes. It had been one standard year, seventy-three days and ten hours since she had slammed their bond shut, and he had battered against it every day since, his Force signature pounding against it in vain.

Maybe today would be the day he finally got through – if he could only tell her once, how sorry he was, how much he cared for her – maybe she would change her mind.

Settling back in his chair, Kylo tried to settle his mind, tried to locate the small spark on the Force that he knew was Rey’s. It was small now, barely a flicker since she had shut their bond – but there it was. He raced towards it, battering his Force signature against hers over and over, and then:

_ She tossed and turned in a bunk, her blankets twisted around her, tears running down her face. _

_ “What have you done?” Rey whispered in her sleep. “What have you done, Ben?” _

_ Kylo moved closer, wanting to take in every aspect of the girl who had captured him so completely since the moment he had seen her in the forest on Takodana. It seemed like a lifetime ago now. _

_ Looking down at her still sleeping form, Kylo reached out with a shaking hand, looking down at Rey before pulling it back to remove his leather glove. Once more, his hand moved towards her, his fingers brushing against her cheek. Leaning in, he whispered, “I miss you, Rey,” before he stood to his full height, letting the bond close behind him with a snap. _

The world around him swam into focus again, and as Kylo sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he stood to get ready for his meeting with dignitaries, it never occurred to him that the delicate shift he had noticed in the Force was his soul chrono, shuddering briefly for some reason.


	2. Time (Clock of the Heart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben’s eyes stayed locked on hers as he reached out with one long-fingered hand, his fingers ghosting across her cheek. “What made you choose him, Rey? What does he have that… that I couldn’t give you? I offered you the Galaxy!”
> 
> Rey’s eyes closed briefly at the feeling of his caress, and as she opened them, her answer to Ben’s question was a simple one, whispered from lips that desperately wanted to kiss him. “He chose me.”
> 
> The bond closed, and Ben found himself weeping once more – but this time he was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta and moodboard artist: [Azuwrite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuwrite)! She does a little writing, too.. check out her works!
> 
> Also, many thanks to [commandercrouton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandercrouton) and [MizuPhoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizuPhoenix) who helped me flesh out my plots for this! Check out their works as well!

[](https://imgur.com/If9d2eZ)

Rey lay on her bunk, curled into a ball, tears rolling down her face and forming a puddle on her pillow. She had to let Rose talk her into watching that silly holodrama with the Twi’lek slave who fell in love with the Prince – and all she could think about now was  _ him _ .

_ Ben _ … Rey said softly,  _ I miss you. _

She knew he still tried to open their bond, and it was pure agony to hold it closed. All she wanted was Ben – not Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order – but Ben Solo, the lonely, beautiful soul she had briefly seen in their interactions through the Force Bond.

She heard something, a muted voice, like it was coming through a windstorm to her ears.

“Rey? Rey, are you okay? Why are you crying?”

There was no mistaking that smooth, dulcet voice that she dreamt about sometimes.

“Ben?”

The force shifted, and Rey knew if she turned over, she would lay eyes on the man she hadn’t seen in almost fifteen months. She felt a weight settle onto her bunk, and the brush of fingers on the bare skin of her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

“I don’t like seeing you cry,” Ben murmured softly.

“Maybe you should have thought about that a year ago,” Rey remarked, sniffling loudly. She swiped at her eyes before huffing in annoyance. “I thought I stopped crying over you a long time ago.”

Ben ran a hand through his hair nervously before saying, “I’m sorry, Rey. For making you cry. I… well I am sure you felt it. I’ve been trying to get your attention since the day you shut me out.”

“I know. I had to do it, Ben. You’re on a path I can’t follow you on. My place is here, with the Resistance. I’m used to it, you know. People have never chosen me. Like you said… I’m nothing. I needed to let you go, because you would destroy me if I didn’t. I was being torn apart too. I had to protect myself – from you.” Rey sniffled again, refusing to turn over and look at him, because if she did, she knew she would be lost in those eyes of his.

“Rey, what I said that day in the Throne Room was that you’re nothing –  _ but not to me _ . Have you thought about what that meant? I never asked you to become a despot, in fact…” Ben stopped as Rey interrupted him, her voice filled with despair and tears.

“You never saw what I saw, Ben. My vision of us in the future.”

Ben leaned forward, his hand started to reach out to touch her again before he stopped himself, remembering that she despised him before settling it back to his side with some trepidation. “No, I didn’t,” Ben’s voice was sad as he spoke, his eyes never leaving Rey’s trembling form.

“I saw us. On a desert planet. It wasn’t Jakku. It had binary suns. You… you were holding me as the suns set, and we were happy, Ben. You stood with me, and I finally had someone that didn’t leave me. I had what I’ve always wanted, in my heart. Then you told me I was nothing, and I came from nothing.”

“But not to me, Rey.  _ Not to me. _ You-“ Ben cussed loudly as the bond slammed shut, his hand coming down on the desk in his quarters, causing the wood to shudder underneath the blow. Why couldn’t Rey see what he was trying to say?

Together, they could bring a new order to the galaxy. Not one of tyrannical rule and forced subservience, but instead, one where the planets all worked together to meet the needs of the galaxy as a whole. He already grew tired of the constant tug of war every day, and the endless meetings with diplomats made him want nothing more than to retreat to his quarters to be alone with his thoughts – thoughts which were mostly of Rey.

….

It seemed there was always work to be done on the Resistance base, which Rey was more than happy about. Back home, she had kept herself busy – because if she didn’t, she wouldn’t eat. Here, of course, she was well fed, she had friends and obligations that – thankfully – didn’t involve scavenging for parts inside crashed Star Destroyers.

Keeping herself busy also kept her from thinking about Ben, and the way he beat against their bond every single day. She could sense his resolve, and his pain – and it was the hardest thing she had ever done to block him out.

He had made his decision, much as she had made hers.

She was nothing, and nobody, and he had reminded her of that fact in Snoke’s Throne Room.

“Rey!” A male voice rang out across the hangar bay as Rey made her way towards one of the X-Wings that needed some work done on it, and she groaned internally as she did her best to wave nonchalantly at the man.

Niv Lek was a good-looking man, Rey supposed. That was the problem, though, she compared every man she encountered to the phantom in her brain. Niv wasn’t as tall as Ben. He wasn’t as well-built. His eyes weren’t as expressive as Ben’s. His hair was short, and brown – and not like the raven mane that Ben sported on his head.

He wasn’t Ben. None of them were – and they all paled in comparison.

She loved a phantom, a man she only imagined in her mind. Maybe she had created Ben Solo in her brain, had built him up from the brief glances she had inside his head. Maybe she had created him out of necessity, so she didn’t feel so alone, knowing there was someone else out there who was as lonely as she was.

Someone who understood her.

As Niv crossed the hangar towards her, Rey plastered a friendly smile on her face, even though her thoughts were light-years away – along with her heart.

….

“Supreme Leader?”

Kylo Ren looked up from the datapad on his desk, his eyes meeting those of Lieutenant Mitaka. “Yes, Mitaka?”

Mitaka gulped, already looking nervous as he choked out the words he was certain would send the Supreme Leader into yet another fit of rage. “The delegates from Ord Mantell have arrived, Supreme Leader. And Mariah is asking to see you – she wants to know if you require her companionship this evening?”

Mitaka backed away as Kylo rose from his chair, his eyes blazing at the mention of Mariah.

“I do not. I believe I told you I was not to be bothered by her again, isn’t that right, Lieutenant?” Kylo took a step around his desk, fury twisting through his veins at the mention of the self-proclaimed debutante from Coruscant’s name. She had been a thorn in his side since she had come aboard the  _ Finalizer _ as a member of the Trade Union’s delegation. She had set her sights on him the first time they had met – but Kylo wanted nothing to do with her.

If there was one thing he had learned from Leia Organa, it was that when you were important, or had even a modicum of power, people would do anything to be in your presence, or to win your favor. He could never involve himself with any woman that wasn’t  _ her _ , though. Even the thought of Rey made his heart start to trip in his chest.

No other woman could ever measure up, he was certain of that.

“Tell Mariah I am not interested – again – and entertain the delegates from Ord Mantell until I can get there.” Kylo towered over Mitaka, clenching his fists over and over again as he tried to keep his mind from Rey, so that he could focus on being diplomatic.

He’d rather be covered in bantha offal than deal with diplomats – but he had made his choice a year ago, as Rey had reminded him.

Time to go play Leader, even if his thoughts – and his very soul, it seemed most of the time – rested somewhere else in the Galaxy.

….

It took two weeks for Rose to convince Rey to have dinner with Niv. He had asked her one night as she worked on Poe’s X-Wing, after one of the cannons had been damaged by a laser blast from a First Order TIE fighter.

“He’s nice, Rey. And, you know, he’s pretty cute. Force, don’t let Finn overhear me saying that. But he likes you! You should give him a chance.”

Rey sighed, looking at her friend and shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll… I’ll think about it, Rose, alright?”

“That’s better than saying no!” Rose grinned at her friend before going back to her own work, and Rey shook her head slightly, glad the conversation was over with. The fact of the matter was – Rey didn’t want to date anyone – anyone that wasn’t Ben, anyways.

He would never choose her, though. The galaxy and his tyranny would always be his first love, not a sand rat from Jakku. She missed Ben. She missed talking to him – not that they had talked that often – but she missed how easy it was to talk to him, and the look he got in his eyes when he saw her. The touch of his fingers on hers had meant something to her. It still did.

He had killed his Master to save her, after all. Didn’t that mean far more than anything he could have said? He had asked her to join him – but Rey didn’t want Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer, the Butcher of Tuanul.

She wanted Ben Solo, and his soft eyes and melodic voice. She wanted him to look at her like he had on Ahch-To, like she was the most fascinating, treasured person he had ever seen.

Rey sighed, her gaze travelling over to where Niv Lek was working. She was lonely, and she had always been lonely. The only time she had felt truly understood was when she and Ben were talking through the Force when she had been on Ahch-To.

It wouldn’t hurt, would it? Having dinner with a man? Maybe he could make her feel what Ben did. Maybe Niv could make the ache in her heart dull. Maybe he could make her feel something other than utter loneliness.

When Niv asked her to join him for dinner the next night, Rey said yes.

….

The Force bond had its own sense of timing, of course, and as it opened up the next time, Rey was sitting across from Niv, trying to pay attention to his story about his first skirmish as a Resistance pilot. She could see Kylo – thankfully asleep in his bed – lying on the table next to theirs. If she reached out, she could touch his foot, but Rey didn’t reach out. Instead, she smiled at Niv, laughing and nodding as if what he was saying was the most fascinating thing she had ever heard.

It wasn’t. In fact, Niv was dreadfully boring. When he asked her a few moments later to go to a small party they were having for someone’s birthday, Rey tried not to let her eyes drift to Kylo’s sleeping form next to them before saying yes.

….

Rey stood against the wall, watching as everyone around her drank and danced. Niv had gone off to find her something to drink that wasn’t alcoholic in nature. As he came back to her, smiling, with a glass of something in hand, the bond opened up once more.

Kylo was in his practice room, running through forms when he felt the Force shift around him, until he was standing in a room opposite Rey, who was smiling at someone handing her a glass. “Thanks, Niv. I appreciate it.”

He tried to ignore the fact that this…  _ person _ … had a hand on Rey’s arm, but as he put his arm around her, Kylo let out a growl, his eyes flashing dangerously in anger. “Tell him to go away. Rey, I know you can hear me. Tell him to go away.”

As Niv put his arm around her shoulders, Rey did her best not to move away. It was completely childish, of course, to want to see the hurt in Ben’s eyes as he begged her to tell Niv to go away – but hadn’t he hurt her, as well? Hadn’t she cried many times over him and his cruel words and actions?

“Rey… Rey,  _ please _ .” Kylo took a step towards her, his fists clenching at his side as he extinguished his lightsaber, tossing it aside for the time being.

Rey looked straight at Ben, shaking her head once, a simple gesture that no one but he would understand. Niv was grinning at her now, happy that she was letting him get so close.

Even if inside she wanted to run, Rey wasn’t going to give Ben that kind of power any longer. He couldn’t dictate her life, and who she spent time with from across the Galaxy. If he had chosen her – chosen  _ them _ – then he would have been here with her, standing beside her instead of Niv.

Niv leaned in, planting a kiss on her cheek before he walked away, and the last thing Rey saw before their bond snapped shut was a single tear trailing down Ben’s cheek.

….

It had been a week, and the ache in his heart hadn’t eased one bit. As Kylo strode through the corridors of the  _ Finalizer _ , everyone moved to one side of the corridor, their eyes shifting downwards. Whatever had the Supreme Leader upset was not a subject anyone wanted to broach with him.

Even Hux knew better than to speak to him more than what was required to keep the Galaxy running.

Rey had let another man touch her. Rey had let another man kiss her cheek. What else had he done to her? Had he touched her more intimately? Had his mouth been on more than just her cheek?

Did she love him?

Entering his quarters, he paced back and forth, his mind working. He found it was hard to concentrate on anything with the thoughts he was having, and so he went to his practice room again, knowing that sparing against droids would keep him occupied enough to hopefully be able to sleep at some point. He had never been able to sleep well, but even a short nap would help him now. He only knew it had been seven standard days since he had seen Rey being touched by someone else, and it was driving him insane. He had no other word for it.

He wanted to tear the man to pieces for daring to touch Rey like he had. Anger coursed through him as he activated five droids at once, igniting his lightsaber as he let the jealousy he felt inside fuel the anger even more. The dark side was always there for him, ready to act upon his will, to do his every bidding.

Ten minutes later, amidst the still smoking pieces and parts of droids, he felt better.

….

For a first kiss, Rey supposed it wasn’t horrendous. As Niv pressed his lips to hers, she closed her eyes, trying to pretend it was another man, with far more plush lips and a much larger build, a man with warm hands and expressive eyes.

She knew she had to end things with him before much longer. It wasn’t fair to Niv to give him false hope that there could ever be anything between them but friendship. She had meant to tell him as he walked her back to her quarters, but instead, she had let him talk about his home planet and family. As she put her hand out to key in the code to her quarters, Niv had gripped her arm softly, turning her around to face him, and then his lips were on her before she could do anything else.

As the Force swirled and shifted, Niv pulled away from her, his eyes soft as he asked, “See you tomorrow?” Rey nodded as he turned and walked away, her eyes meeting Ben’s as he stood just beside her door.

As her door slid open with a hiss and Rey stepped inside, she did her best to ignore Ben for a few minutes before she finally settled onto her bunk, sitting cross-legged and looking up to meet his gaze.

Ben swallowed hard, his jaw working as he tried to hold back tears. Rey had someone, someone who was kissing her, and it felt far worse than he had ever imagined it would. He had taken lightsaber wounds, bowcaster blasts, force lightning – it was all child’s play compared to how his heart felt in his chest right now. It had been torn asunder as he watched the other man kissing Rey, the sharp, jagged edges now slicing him from within with every beat and every breath he took.

He didn’t care how weak he looked at the moment, Ben fell to his knees in the middle of the room, letting the tears flow freely as he wept for chances he had carelessly thrown away. Because that is what he had done, wasn’t it? He had thrown away his chance at being with the one person who he could see himself with since his soulmate was no longer an option. He had thrown Rey away, like a decrepit Star Destroyer in the desert of Jakku.

It was no wonder she’d chosen to find someone to spend her time with.

Rey watched as Ben collapsed on her floor, the sound of his weeping causing her heart to clench in her chest. Their bond was wide open, and Rey could feel the waves of pain radiating through the Force, like raw, open, jagged and bleeding wounds on his heart and soul.

_ I did that, _ Rey thought to herself as she slid off her bunk, quickly going to his side.  _ Kriff, I did this to him. _

“Ben!” Rey’s arms went around his neck, and she pulled his face onto her shoulder, his tears making the shoulder of her tunic wet. “Shhh, Ben, shhh,” Rey said softly into his ear. As she settled her own chin on his shoulder, Rey let her own tears come, the thought of hurting him too much to bear, even after all he had done to her.

Rey didn’t know how they ended up lying on their sides on her bunk, facing each other, but she was grateful that the Force had decided to let them have some time together this time. Rey reached out, brushing a piece of hair off Ben’s forehead as he looked at her. They hadn’t spoken in almost a half hour, their tears finally drying up.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said softly. “I… I hope he makes you happy, Rey.”

“Ben…” Rey replied, “Stop.”

Ben’s eyes stayed locked on hers as he reached out with one long-fingered hand, his fingers ghosting across her cheek. “What made you choose him, Rey? What does he have that… that I couldn’t give you? I offered you the Galaxy!”

Rey’s eyes closed briefly at the feeling of his caress, and as she opened them, her answer to Ben’s question was a simple one, whispered from lips that desperately wanted to kiss him. “He chose me.”

The bond closed, and Ben found himself weeping once more – but this time he was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and kudos, and mash that subscribe button if you like what you see! <3
> 
> Come visit me on tumblr: [my-jedi-life](https://my-jedi-life.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And on the twitter: [MyJediLife](https://twitter.com/MyJediLife) (All the twitters - I know them!)


End file.
